Sunday, December 27, 2009

Moms who blog

It sounds like a support group for mother's who can't help themselves from blogging, a twelve-step program.

But it's a growing population of those of us who need to tell our stories, lament the woes and record the triumphs of our day in and day out, a way to be creative when we feel we have no mental space for thinking more deeply in order to write our great american novels or capture the image of our masterpieces, like in the days before we had children and we still had brains capable of more than routine tasks and singing Old MacDonald for the 300,000th time, or reading Tikki-Tikki-Tembo until we are blue in the face.

It seems from where I sit anyway, that there are more of us in the blogosphere than most, and father's too, recording the amazing and most common thing humanity shares, the raising of our children.

Some of us are special needs moms, some are moms of teens, tweens or small children, some moms of blended families, some young moms, some who waited until later in life, and some of us are all of the above. And yes, I am talking about me in that last group. :)

We share a lot, with each other and of ourselves with the world at large. I think, besides the outlet for creativity, we do so to say, like the Whos on Horton's dustpeck, We are here! We are here! We are here! To say, we matter, I am doing something with my life, and it's important. We do it to say, I am not alone, are you out there, can you hear me? I want to hear your story, too!

The old trotted out line that it takes a village to raise a child is very true, and one of those reasons is to keep the mother who is caring for her kids from feelings of desperate isolation. It may be the mother who is running from work to home and racing to the store for dinner in between, who is lacking a serious connection with her friends she used to see all the time or stay up all night talking on the phone. It may be the mother who is going mental thinking the last time she had a conversation that didn't involve diapers and their contents in graphic detail was she can't remember when. It may be the mother who seems to have moments of sheer joy at the developmental milestone her child just sailed past, who wants to call out, Hey! Did you see that?! It may be the mother who found a moment of quiet and beauty with her child that cracked her open like an egg to the wonders of the universe.

Some people, even in this day and age, still have their coffee klatches and playdates, some of us don't. In the twenty-first century, we have our blogs. Our neighborhood is the whole world and whoever happens to click in and say hello, I see you, and that sounds just like me! Sometimes readers click in, and if you use a tracker on your blog, you can see them and know you've been visited from Brazil, Ireland, Russian, Japan, or across the the US or even from the next town. I feel validated when I see my tracker or when people, I still haven't met but who feel like friends comment. I feel like what I'm doing matters. That sometimes talking about the tougher stuff helps someone else, or sharing a joy lifts someone's spirit. But mostly I feel like the fact that I am parenting matters. That I'm not doing it in a void. That doing what I can for my kids is the best thing I can do.

I'll just write the great american novel later. When I've had some more sleep.

8 comments:

  1. well said! have you ever considered that maybe you are already in the process of writing the great american novel through your blog? :-)

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  2. ha! thanks, kelly...my blog posts leave a very thin plotline. ;)

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  3. HI Cath,

    Your blog looks great and is fun to read. I think you are right about blogging being a substitute for playground chats.
    I welcome you to check out my blog. I am a pediatrician specializing in Teens and Young Adults and I blog on topics of interest to parents as well as the kids. I follow what is new and interesting in the medical literature as well as popular culture. Keep up your good work. Ann Engelland, MD www.annengellandmd.blogspot.com

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  4. thanks, dr ann! i will check yours out.

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  5. I could have sworn I'd left a comment on this when I read it before! But perhaps not (there's that sieve mind thing). I LOVE this post, just in case I didn't tell you that before! And I'm so glad that the mom blog thing introduced me to you!

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  6. I often feel like the egg in your beautiful egg simile :) loving your blog :)

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  7. thank you for reading so much of it, justahumblebee. as you commented on so many yesterday, you helped me go back a review things i've written before, and find they still apply.

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